Saturday, January 29, 2005

Ants in the pants

Isn't science wonderful! I mean, who would think of fidget pants but scientists?

No, really. Researchers at the Mayo Clinic asked their subjects to wear special underpants with sensors that measure body movement. As the subjects went about their daily lives, the underpants made a record of fidgeting.

The biggest fidgeters burned the most calories. As if we didn't know.

"Stop fidgeting!" my wife has been saying for years. "You'd drive anyone crazy the way you jiggle all day."

Yeah, well. "Fidgeting is a good thing," says a spokesperson for the Mayo team. " It's not a bad habit like picking your nose," .

In fact, so valuable is fidgeting in fighting obesity that the scientists wonder if it's possible to teach people to fidget. So how about wiring the fidget pants so that they deliver a mild electric shock every time the wearer settles down. That should do the trick.

"I'd wire you up the other way around," says my long-suffering wife.